A Good Dog Trainer is More Than Just a Good Dog Trainer

Once upon a time…

I heard this story from a dog parent recently:

Their dog was exhibiting reactive behavior so they hired a positive reinforcement trainer. I know this trainer – they are an excellent dog trainer and an absolutely lovely person. But they don’t specialize in reactivity. The trainer took the case anyway, and since they’re a very good manners and skills trainer, that’s what they worked on with this client. The client was confused because none of this seemed to address his dog’s reactive behavior. He told me the trainer was also consistently late but didn’t stay after the session to make up for the time, cancelled last minute a few times, and had many other commitments that seemed to be distractions and interfered with the training relationship.

When this client finished his package, he still had a reactive dog so he found another trainer. This time he landed with an aversive trainer who put his dog in a shock collar and prong collar. The client saw results, and the trainer showed up on time, every time, and made the client feel his time and money mattered.

As a force-free trainer, this story was difficult to hear. But I can totally empathize with the client and their choices. What’s most frustrating about this situation is that the actual dog training itself had little to do with the outcome. It’s entirely possible that the training techniques and activities used by the positive reinforcement trainer were useful for reactivity – but that was never explained to the client and he didn’t see the connection. What mattered was the client didn’t feel heard or valued. So he found another trainer who did make him feel that way. And unfortunately, that was someone who used punishment-based techniques to address the client’s concerns about his dog.

I’m not here to discuss the ethics or merits of different approaches to training, and it’s actually irrelevant to the outcome of this story. What I take from this story is a stark reminder that being good with dogs is only a small part of a trainer or behaviorist’s skillset. Being good with the people on the other end of the leash is just as important, if not more so.

I’m not a dog trainer, I’m a life coach with a treat bag

A lot of pet care professionals joke that they are in the pet care business because they don’t like people. I think if you’re in the pet care business and you don’t like people, you’re in the wrong business. Because there are no pet services without people, and the way we change cultural fogs, myths, and outdated techniques is not by teaching dogs skills; it’s by working with and educating their people.

In fact, I have two running jokes with my clients:

“Dog training is actually just people training with a dog in the room.”

“I call my training sessions ‘social hour’ because we mostly just talk about the dog instead of working with them.”

While it sometimes feels awkward that we’ve spent an entire hour talking about their dog instead training it, it actually speaks to the importance of building a trust-based relationship with clients. I would much rather spend my training sessions answering questions and explaining methodology than demonstrating skills – that’s what my video library and client chat groups are for, and clients can use those on their own time as much as they need. But if my clients don’t understand why they’re doing something, or how it’s going to help their dog, they aren’t likely to believe in it or practice it before the next training session no matter how well I demonstrated the skill.

Unfortunately, the situation experienced by the dog parent in this story is not abnormal. We as dog trainers can get a bit myopic about the dog and forget that showing up on time, showing up fully, honoring our commitments, and creating a safe space to feel seen and heard are also components of good dog training. I’ll even go so far as to make the argument that the people are the most important part of any dog training plan, because they are the ones who buy the packages, practice the skills, and build the relationships with their dogs. Trainers need to put their clients’ welfare at the same priority level as their dogs’ in training plans and packages. Because if we aren’t meeting our clients’ needs, our expertise, knowledge, and skills go out the window. 

Staying within scope

The other thing that came up for me in this dog parent’s story is the scope of the trainer. Every trainer has things they are good at, and some have things they specialize in that they are very good at. Trainers who specialize in reactivity don’t just have a unique skillset, they also have a unique vocabulary that helps them explain reactive dog behavior, emotions, and needs. Understanding reactivity is different than working with it, and those who specialize in reactivity understand this nuance very well. The trainer this dog parent hired is a very good trainer, and has specialties in complex behaviors. However, reactivity isn’t one of them, and this created a disconnect with the client because that trainer didn’t have the specific skills needed to support him with his dog’s behavior.

This scope matters, because trainers need to be skilled in what their clients need help with. My personal specialties are “big feelings” including reactivity and general anxiety, adolescents (who, let’s face it are just swimming in big feelings all the time), enrichment programs, adoption counseling/pairing, and muzzle fitting and training. So for me to take on a separation anxiety case, or resource guarding, or a home with children and dogs having problems would be outside of my scope. It’s not ethical for me to take these types of cases because I don’t have specialized training that allows me to fully support those clients. Instead, I need to refer them out to another trainer who can provide the specialized training services needed.

And that is what I heard from this dog parent – the trainer tried to teach him basic manners skills, which is not what he hired the trainer for. He hired the trainer for reactivity, which is not something that trainer has specialized experience and knowledge in. This trainer worked outside of their scope, which left the client feeling unheard and having spent a lot of money for something that didn’t address his problem.

Self-care is client care

Probably the most-neglected aspect of dog training is self-care. We need to remember that in order to be good dog trainers, we also need to take care of ourselves and respect our own time, boundaries, and needs. I know too many trainers who answer calls and texts no matter what time of day or day of the week they come in. Trainers who don’t have a business phone number, business email, or other ways to keep their work and personal lives separate. Trainers who don’t charge enough and have a business focused on quantity of cases over quality, and are therefore overbooked and trying to manage more dogs than their schedule allows. Trainers whose daily schedules are so packed they often don’t have time to eat, decompress after a session, or build in time for rush hour traffic. When we can’t show up on time, don’t set clear boundaries, and don’t charge what we need to run a sustainable business, we are doing a disservice to our clients as well as ourselves.

Trainer self-care also means making sure the trainer-client relationship is a good match for everyone. Sometimes we need to turn clients down or refer them out. This could be because it’s out of our scope but it also could be a personality conflict, technological ability, our schedule is too full, or any other reason. I personally spend a lot of time up front talking with potential clients before taking any money from them, because I want us both to feel confident we’re going to like working together for the next several months. I don’t want to take on a client if there are any barriers to that because the client won’t learn, their dog’s behavior won’t change, and they might just end up in the same situation as the dog parent in this story.

To be continued…

I don’t know the end of this story yet. This dog parent and I talked for a long time. I listened to his concerns and answered a lot of questions. I got curious and asked questions back. Should he decide to work with me I think it would be a good fit for both of us, and a great opportunity to set the dog up for a nice life with his new family. Mostly, I appreciated the opportunity to learn from him and be reminded about how being a good dog trainer is more than just being a good dog trainer. As we say in dog training, “it’s all important information that helps us do better next time.”